


Black, White, and Red All Over

by HisAsgardianAngel



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: ...maybe, Bathing/Washing, Edward Nygma/Your Best Friend, F/M, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Meetings, Fluff, Gotham City Police Department, I am in love with the Riddler, I fall in love with too many psychos to be normal, I fucking love Gotham, I tried to keep Oswald in character but I think I goofed, I'm Going to Hell, I'm Sorry, I'm a Marvel girl so this is new, Let's watch penguins mate, Lol kidding, My First Work in This Fandom, No Bat-Brain in sight, Nygma's riddles are beatifully obnoxious, One Shot, Oswald Cobblepot/You - Freeform, Oswald is creepy but cute, Reader-Insert, Riddles, Touching, what can I say my friend likes her some penguin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-30 13:19:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5165243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HisAsgardianAngel/pseuds/HisAsgardianAngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The reader and The Penguin have some intimate time in the bath after she finds him broken and bleeding on the side of the road. Also includes some Nygma loving because...Nygma <3</p>
            </blockquote>





	Black, White, and Red All Over

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MakBarnes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MakBarnes/gifts).



You walked hurriedly out to your car and revved up the engine. [Your best friend's name]'s boyfriend had pushed you too far this time…per usual. You tried to handle Nygma's excessive riddles, but not today; today he was grating on your last nerve. What's black and white and red all over he had asked, and over and over you had shouted "A NEWSPAPER, EDWARD" but no, that wasn't the answer he was looking for. That was the logical answer, and Nygma was a logical man, but it seemed as if ever since he had begun dating your friend all he wanted to do was try to be cutesy for her attention and it pissed you off. Edward had looked your best friend in the eye with a stupid grin on his face and whispered "a blushing penguin." A BLUSHING…WHAT THE HELL?! How were you supposed to guess that? Ugh! You didn't even like penguins.

To be fair, it wasn't just the riddle that had you in a foul enough mood to be speeding down a lonely Gotham highway in the direction of nowhere in particular. You had been a little ill with everyone working at the GCPD this week―not just [your best friend's name]'s new boy toy, who was the forensic specialist. You were a rookie cop, who had taken Jim Gordon's entry position shortly after he had been promoted to detective. You had been working long hours, doing everything right….and yet here you were, freshly suspended while all those dirty crooked cops under Commissioner Loeb's thumb got to keep theirs. You almost wanted to quit, if this was how they were going to treat someone who did her job right; lived for what was just, not for what would make you rich. You were lost in these spiteful thoughts when something caught the corner of your eye. You looked in all your mirrors, making sure there was no one around as you made a U-Turn and pulled to a stop off the side of the road. There was a small peer, one you drove by everyday on your way to work and paid absolutely no mind to. However, today something was different…wrong, even.

You turned off the motor of your cobalt blue '98 Mustang Convertible and steadied yourself on your grey high-heels as you slammed the car door behind you. You were going to have to hurry, it appeared as if someone was hurt. There was something of a man handcuffed to a light post by the docks edge, he appeared to be beaten pretty badly. You might have been suspended, but you were still a cop, and to you that meant you still had every right to aid the citizens of this city.

"Sir, are you alright? Can you speak?" You ask very gently as you approach the body with caution. He is breathing, but barely. You are unsure if he is even conscious.

"Sir…?" You repeat, kneeling down to his level to get a better look. He had the strangest jet black hair you had ever seen; bangs much too long and hanging in sections in his eyes, the rest trimmed and nestled like a birds nest on the top of his head. His long nose was crooked and weird, one of his feet was bent horribly to the side as if it had been severely broken one too many times…he was a funny looking man to say the least. He was not unconscious, as you had originally thought; looking up at you with the most stunning pair of blue-green eyes you had ever seen. Gentle eyes. They were definitely his most attractive feature. He didn't say anything…that was, until you mentioned where it was that you were employed.

"I know that you're injured, I can help you. I work for the GCPD…" This seemed to put a certain fear in his eyes as he quickly hopped up as best he could and got on his knees before you. He looked as if he may pass out from over-exertion at this smallest of movement, and you pitied him.

"Ma'am p-please, I can assure you, I will tell you everything and anything you want, I'll be invaluable to a detective, I know―" You cut him off, fighting the urge to laugh.

"I'm not a detective. Besides, I'm suspended right now anyway. What's your name?" He smiled brightly at you, his eyes shining with a hint of something you didn't trust; though you were so very much intrigued that you didn't care.

"Oswald Cobblepot. Pleased to meet you, Officer." He extended a bruised, bleeding and shaking hand and you took it tenderly into your own.

"You can call me [Your name]. C'mon, let's get you cleaned up." Cobblepot didn't object, watching you curiously as you went to fetch a set of cuff keys from your car. You were wearing a form fitting grey sweater and peach colored jeans, which your new friend seemed to be admiring from afar…that or he was checking out your ass. Either way you blushed a bit as you walked back to him, unlocking his restraints and asking if he could walk. You sincerely doubted it, especially with that mangled foot. He tried, though he quickly lost his balance and you caught him swiftly under the arm.

"I've got you. I'll take you to my apartment, get in the car." You helped Oswald to the passenger seat and then returned to your own position as driver, heading back to the apartment you shared with [your best friend's name]. You hoped they would be gone when you got there, you had no idea how they would react to bringing a stranger home and honestly…well, you just couldn't take much more of Edward's goddamn riddles. Once you pulled into your drive way and helped Oswald hobble to your front door, you held your breath as you turned the key. Please…don't let anyone be home….shit.

"Hi! [Your best friend's name] went to go get dinner, I hope Mexican is alright. Hey, what is a Honeymoon Salad?" Now Ed got on your nerves, but the look Cobblepot gave him was just downright cold.

"I don't like riddles." Edward blinked at him for a second, but didn't otherwise miss a beat, that goofy smile that you knew your friend had fallen in love with plastered upon his face.

"Give up? Lettuce alone, with no dressing." You roll your eyes, but you smile at him anyway and he seems to appreciate that.

"Is that what [your best friend's name] and you have been up to?" Nygma turned fifty shades of red in under ten seconds, grinning down at his hands although he refused to give an answer. He must have noticed Cobblepot's leg while his eyes were looking downward, cocking his head to the side curiously.

"Did you know that male emperor penguins keep their eggs warm by balancing them on their feet? Isn't that neat?" His tone and expression were one hundred percent polite, though Oswald didn't seem to care for the remark. Now that he mentioned it….Cobblepot did kind of look and walk like a penguin. It was…oddly endearing.

"You aren't the first to call me Penguin." Oswald's lips were pressed into a thin line and his tone was clipped, suggesting to you that he was possibly even less fond of your friend's significant other than you were so you should probably make an effort to separate them.

"Well, Oswald is injured so I'm going to go take care of that, okay? You stay here and watch for [your best friend's name] to come home." Nygma seemed happy to oblige, turning to watch for her out the window as you lead Cobblepot into your bathroom. You both watched each other intensely as you ran his bath, running your eyes down his blood-spattered chest. He was dressed to the nines, a nice black suit and overcoat clinging tightly to his small frame. You weren't sure he was going to be very muscular when you undressed him but that was okay, there was something about that sallow, porcelain skin that made you want to see it bare anyway. When the tub was full, you were surprised when he did not object to you taking off his coat and suit jacket and beginning to unbutton his dress shirt. His body was rigid, as if he were afraid and his wide eyes were full of an emotion you couldn't quite place. You had made him uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to overstep any boundaries if I did." He shook his head quickly, though his expression was still riddled with uncertainty.

"N-No not uncomfortable, Ma'am, I just can't fathom why anyone would want to help me like this. I'm a wanted man, [your name]. If Fish Mooney catches you doing this we're both dead." So that's why he was so twitchy. Mooney had beaten the shit out of him…that explained an awful lot. You now knew why your first instinct was not to trust him, he was running with a terrible lot. That should have been enough for you, but it wasn't. You continued to remove his clothes as if you hadn't heard him.

"I carry a gun, Mr. Cobblepot. I'll be just fine." Now that he was completely naked, you helped him gingerly into the bathtub, his face wincing harshly at the sting of the bath against his wounds. His eyes were still on you, piercing through you.

"We would make a good team, you and I. You may want to consider….I know everything there is to know about Fish Mooney, and I've been working my way into the Maroni family for Carmine Falcone for a while now. I have enough dirt on all three of them to help you clean up this city in a heartbeat. You'd earn enough promotions to surpass that goody two shoes Gordon, you'd be back on the force." Here he was, doing it again. You were sure bargaining and groveling like this was the only reason he was still alive to tell such secrets. You look up at him from underneath your eyelashes, a flirty expression crossing your face.

"Oh yeah? And what would be in it for you?" He smiled.

"Police protection and a place by your side." You can't help but laugh; he seems to like that.

"By my side as in my partner on the police force or…other areas of my life?" His smile broadened greatly, revealing his less than white pearly whites. He was such a gross little man…so what about him made him not so gross in your eyes? Made him…beautiful, even?

"Both." You had anticipated such an answer. You giggle.

"You know…you don't have to bribe me to get me to like you." This seemed to catch him off guard and he stared at you for a moment. It wasn't until then that you realized just how vulnerable he looked. It broke your heart. What had happened to this poor man to make him this way? It was pitiful. He sat up, reaching out very slowly to touch the side of your face. You let him, holding your breath as he tenderly cups your chin and leans forward. His skin is ice cold and soft, delicate even. You nuzzle into it before you can stop yourself and the next thing you know you feel his lips pressed against your own. The taste is unexpected―sweet, like candy. You want to run your fingers through his hair but you're afraid, so you just sit there patiently until the moment is over. You don't know what to do or say, all you can do is gaze at your now flustered little companion. He mistakes your silence for offense and looks down with a slightly wounded expression.

"My apologies, I meant no disrespect." Your restraint slips and you grab him by the face, forcing your lips back together roughly and shoving your tongue into his mouth. He moans in surprise, gripping your [your hair color] locks and pulling you as close as he possibly could. His kisses were savage, passionate, frightening in all the right ways. His eyes are lust blown when he pulls away, caressing your kiss bruised bottom lip with his thumb seductively.

"Would you care to join me? I'm feeling much better now." You know you really shouldn't but you do not hesitate to remove your clothes, carefully crawling into the scalding hot bubble bath with a man you'd only just met. What in the world he was doing to you, you would never guess…but it didn't matter; he was worth it. His hands pawed at your breasts and he latched on to your neck lovingly, nipping and kissing down to your collarbone as your eyes rolled to the back of your head.

"Mmm, is this your secret, Oswald? Fish Mooney really just doesn't like you because you're better in the sac than her?" You tease as you grab hold of something a little more fun to play with. Cobblepot jumped slightly at the touch, rocking in to it and softly caressing the side of your face.

"Maybe…and what would your secret be, my dear?" Oswald had always had a penchant for secrets. Your smirk was almost evil. You leaned in real slow, your lips just inches from his own and lay your forehead sweetly against his.

"I fucking love penguins."

**Author's Note:**

> Characters belong to DC Comics


End file.
